Do you believe that you truly stay the course doing it ‘your‘ way, or do you think of yourself as someone who follows an ideal that limits our goals? Truth is, most of us get so lost in High School or any other form of adversity, that we lose our true identity. We work so hard to get grades that prove we deserve to be accepted into a college of which we so desire, subsequently, leading to a good job, a house, (fill in the rest with your own dreams and goals).
But what if we lose ourselves in all of this mess? Let me tell you a little about my life:
Lately, I feel as if I’m lost. Lost in a world that demands perfection out of everyone in everything – or possibly that I make myself believe that I’m stressed out when in reality I’m not. The question is not so to be answered lightly as I have been here once – a much darker time in my life, however.
This is where it all comes together though. I think I’ve ‘figured’ it all out. Life is one continuously swirling ball of emotions that plays tricks, sets us up, and lets us fall – but along the way, somewhere, someplace, it picks up the pieces and starts again. . .
So many times do I find myself thinking about how I must strive to be that ideal son that my parents have tried so delicately to raise; however, it feels like I somehow am failing them in a sense. Not in a sense that I actually failed to be a decent son but in such a way that I don’t live up to what any of what they have achieved. Truth be told, I envy my siblings in that they are all gifted in one way or another, while I am still trying to figure out what I even excel at.
Now I don’t think I’m a total failure, especially because I haven’t exactly given up on myself, totally. So what is it? Where do I even begin to find where I truly belong in my life. I honestly can’t say one thing that really sits above any of the rest – so maybe I’m just ‘well’-rounded. But that means I’m just average. Again, failure in that I can’t become greater than what my predecessors have reached. But not all is lost – I do have one thing I suppose – and that is maybe the one thing that I can build on. . .
Suppose we don’t let ourselves get caught up in this mess called life – Can we really achieve great feats without conforming to a belief that limits ourselves?
That’s the great question of my crazy mind.. truth is, it’s one I’m still searching for an answer for –
PS: Happy Holidays to everyone – Hope your time off from school, work, or anything for that matter, is filled with many smiles and if you find yourself a little down, remember there’s something you can do about it. Much love to everyone out there!