Do you believe that you truly stay the course doing it ‘your‘ way, or do you think of yourself as someone who follows an ideal that limits our goals? Truth is, most of us get so lost in High School or any other form of adversity, that we lose our true identity. We work so hard to get grades that prove we deserve to be accepted into a college of which we so desire, subsequently, leading to a good job, a house, (fill in the rest with your own dreams and goals).

But what if we lose ourselves in all of this mess? Let me tell you a little about my life:

Lately, I feel as if I’m lost. Lost in a world that demands perfection out of everyone in everything – or possibly that I make myself believe that I’m stressed out when in reality I’m not. The question is not so to be answered lightly as I have been here once – a much darker time in my life, however.

This is where it all comes together though. I think I’ve ‘figured’ it all out. Life is one continuously swirling ball of emotions that plays tricks, sets us up, and lets us fall – but along the way, somewhere, someplace, it picks up the pieces and starts again. . .

So many times do I find myself thinking about how I must strive to be that ideal son that my parents have tried so delicately to raise; however, it feels like I somehow am failing them in a sense. Not in a sense that I actually failed to be a decent son but in such a way that I don’t live up to what any of what they have achieved. Truth be told, I envy my siblings in that they are all gifted in one way or another, while I am still trying to figure out what I even excel  at.

Now I don’t think I’m a total failure, especially because I haven’t exactly given up on myself, totally. So what is it? Where do I even begin to find where I truly belong in my life. I honestly can’t say one thing that really sits above any of the rest – so maybe I’m just ‘well’-rounded. But that means I’m just average. Again, failure in that I can’t become greater than what my predecessors have reached. But not all is lost – I do have one thing I suppose – and that is maybe the one thing that I can build on. . .

Suppose we don’t let ourselves get caught up in this mess called life – Can we really achieve great feats without conforming to a belief that limits ourselves?
That’s the great question of my crazy mind.. truth is, it’s one I’m still searching for an answer for –

– Robert


PS: Happy Holidays to everyone – Hope your time off from school, work, or anything for that matter, is filled with many smiles and if you find yourself a little down, remember there’s something you can do about it.  Much love to everyone out there!

About Brad,Robert,Ben

We are three kids from three different time zones, with one common goal. This is our voice:
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5 Responses to

  1. Ryan M. says:

    I hate to tell you: you’re going to be searching for those answers for quite some time. I’m 24 and I still ask myself similar questions. I know many at least a decade or two older that ask themselves similar questions. You’re probably never going to find a permanent answer; you’ll find something that sticks and which evolves as you do. Whatever answer you find, don’t forget to slow down and appreciate the little things that make you smile. Many times, they’re the only things that keep us relatively sane.

  2. Jay M. says:

    Actually, you sound like I did at about the same stage in life. I was supposed to “lead” my younger siblings, I guess, and I felt just about…average. What I see now, is that my “averageness” was a more or less self-fulfilling prophecy that I wish I could have changed. But then I wouldn’t be me.

    I remember a time when you were excited about finding a college, and looking at some great ones. You don’t get into those if you’re average. You excel at least one thing, you have a heck of a personality. (Not to mention soccer.)

    One point I don’t want to forget is that you shouldn’t be trying to live up to your older siblings’ legacy. You are your own person. I pray that your parents aren’t comparing you, and I’ll bet they aren’t. You’re living up to there expectations by being you. And gaining all they’ve gained? They have a lot longer in the saddle than you do, give yourself a chance, Robert.

    As to the big question: You can only achieve great things if you don’t subscribe to a belief that you are mediocre, and only you can let that subscription lapse, ASAP!

    Peace ❤

  3. tristram says:

    Robert – I think you are ahead of the game just because you are considering these questions at this stage of your life. It gives you a better chance of finding your own path to your own “good place” than if you were to follow a path that others – your parents, siblings, teachers, peers, whoever – have marked out for you until later in life when the opportunities are fewer and harder to reach. Your post above indicates that you know that. Don’t worry if you wander a bit before finding that path.

    Of course, you are not the first person to ponder this question. Google “What is ‘the good life’?” and (I think) the names Plato, Aristotle, and Socrates will pop up. So you are in some pretty heavy company.

    From what I’ve seen on this blog, there are many paths to ‘greatness’ that are open to you. I suggest that in making your decisions, you think about a quote I saw recently from Roger Ebert (feel free to Google), a guy who achieved a lot in his life and has recently faced some serious adversity with courage and grace:

    “I believe that if, at the end, according to our abilities, we have done something to make others a little happier, and something to make ourselves a little happier, that is about the best we can do. To make others less happy is a crime. To make ourselves unhappy is where all crime starts. We must try to contribute joy to the world. That is true no matter what our problems, our health, our circumstances. We must try. I didn’t always know this and am happy I lived long enough to find it out.”

  4. Steve says:

    Guys, I’m 61 yrs old, and still feel lost at times! Only thing that helps, I’ve been there before and know how to deal with it so it’s minimal. LOL As the ad campaign says, it does get better, slowly but surely, so hang in there.

  5. Tom Davis says:

    In the end you die. At most it seems that we have about 100 years. If doing those things that make one a great son is something that makes you happy, then go for it. If the competition with your siblings invigorates you, then full steam ahead. But it would be a terrible shame if you never lived your life for yourself.

    Find out what gives you joy, strength, and energy and set those as your goals.

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