Just like so many other kids out there, I’m all by myself right now. I’m sitting in my room, like I have for the past two months. Now summer break is over, school is about to start, and I didn’t have some life changing experience. When school gets tough, I always tell myself summer will come and everything will get better. Then summer gets here and I tell myself that at least the school year will start soon. Then things will pick up. My expectations aren’t met very often.
Just like so many other kids out there, I’m depressed. It’s funny, I’m not a big blogger. The thought of sharing my entire life publicly makes me cringe. But I’m in the pits and I’m convinced to make something of it. I’m a white, gay, suburban, teenage, high school kid. And I’m depressed. And I know I’m not alone. I sit in my room sometimes and wonder why I don’t have those best friends who’ll pull me up. I wonder why I’m not doing what I want to do. I do that all the time. I’m on meds and they’re not even the right ones; they don’t really work. But I know, and I want to tell everybody, that sometimes you just gotta wait.
You can’t always just to wait for school to end, or for the weekend to come, or for the year to end. Sometimes you’ve just gotta wait without knowing when it’s gonna end. You just gotta hunker down, bite your lip, and be depressed, or sad, or angry. Just sit there and face it and know that people all over the world are laying awake at nights just like you. Wait. I know, even if I can’t picture it right now, that there was a time when I was happy and there will come a time when I will be happy again. I just think about how low I can get so quickly and know that I can get up just as fast. I just gotta wait… and so do you.
This is my outstretched arm for anyone who may need it. Everybody says it gets better and for those people it obviously has. However, I never see those people when it’s bad. So here I am. I’m in a bad place, but I know it’s gonna get better.