I recently read a chapter from a book by a monk. I can’t remember the name of the book or even the nationality of the monk, but that’s not important. The content is what I’m going to share.
This chapter promotes non-action as a means of calming your life. I’ll take partying on the weekend as an example. In high school, partying on the weekend is a norm. And if you don’t party on the weekend, you should feel ashamed. If you’re not partying, you should put all your energy into trying to find a party. This is exactly the action that the chapter warns against. Why not acknowledge your loneliness in not partying? Spend some time with your loneliness and you’ll find it’s not so evil. Cool loneliness is the optimal loneliness that the monk promotes. It means not falling into your loneliness, but acknowledging it, accepting it, and letting it pass. You are only lonely because you feel you shouldn’t be. You think that you absolutely must go out every night. You don’t have to. You only have to eat and sleep (and whatever else it is the body does.) You exist alone, by yourself. Exist by yourself before you try to exist with others.
“We often view the past better than it was, the present worse than it is, and the future less resolved than it will be.”