Inspired by CuDi

It’s simple as that. I’ll be strong through tha haters. Who are the haters? How many times have I directly been called fag? Or homo? Or even gay? Never. I’m scared of a world that I can’t see.

But isn’t that the most ferocious world of them all.

It lurks behind me while I walk down the hall,

It slithers over my feet while I stand in the lunch line,

and it lays just out of sight under my arm while I sleep nervously in physics class.

A wildfire

gorges in my chest, ready to burst forth, and engulf my sight,

but will it? It usually remains,

restless, inside of me, demanding only attention.

Weary, dirty, constant attention.

Who is scared of something that doesn’t exist? If I told you that there was an intangible bear behind you, would you run? What holds me here in place, frozen and speechless, when all I wish for is words?

-Ben

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About Brad,Robert,Ben

We are three kids from three different time zones, with one common goal. This is our voice:
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4 Responses to Inspired by CuDi

  1. Jay M. says:

    Ben,
    I think we all feel that way. I felt that way all the way through high school, and college, and beyond. I finally started the “coming out process”, with no playbook, no coach, no examples really, apart from a few bloggers, and ya know what? It gets easier, and the haters just don’t seem to be there. I know it’s different in HS, and I have no idea where on the East Coast you are, but if it’s in the South (where I grew up), we all know they’re there.

    The imagery in your post is vivid, and poignant and very, very real. Incredible writing.

    I see you on googlechat…care if I say hello?
    Peace ❤
    Jay

  2. Troy says:

    I just saw Lucinda Black Bear give a show at Mercury Lounge, a tiny club in the East Village. Chad the cellist is gay, from Reno…

    Anyway, thought you may like this song – seems relevant – Fought The Bear. Keep doing what you are doing – giving voice to your fears and thoughts.

    They’ve got a new cd out called KNIVES.

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