On the legality of marriage

I was looking around the web bored this morning and I stumbled upon the most valid reasons why gay marriage should be illegal, courtesy of stopgeek.com. Enjoy.

-Ben

01) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.

02) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

03) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

04) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn’t changed at all like many of the principles on which this great country was founded; women are still property, blacks still can’t marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

05) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of marriages like Britney Spears’ 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

06) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn’t be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren’t full yet, and the world needs more children.

07) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

08) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That’s why we have only one religion in America.

09) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That’s why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven’t adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.

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About Brad,Robert,Ben

We are three kids from three different time zones, with one common goal. This is our voice:
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8 Responses to On the legality of marriage

  1. Jay M. says:

    Excellent find, Ben. Kinda like The Independent column I reproduced over at jayinva.blogger.com…keep up the good work!
    Peace ❤
    Jay

  2. william says:

    It never ceases to amaze me the arguments the religious right uses to condemn and ban gay marriage. If they hold marriage in such high esteem then why isn’t adultery and divorce rigorously pursued by the religious establishment? These alone undermine marriage. Gay marriage would not have any effect on traditional marriage. This is just another example of religion gone wrong.

    • William, this is sarcastic. This guy’s on our side. It’s a great satirical look at what are otherwise real arguments (like the “sanctity of marriage” argument) though. Also it’s hilarious.
      -Ben

  3. A says:

    IF gays can’t marry… Then Str8t ppl can’t get DIVORCED!!

  4. Jas Friedman says:

    Alan Turing was a marathon runner, an athlete. He was gay. He also helped to lay the foundations of Computer Science.

    It is really important to help educate people about the natural world as well. “Homosexuality” is natural, in the sense that same-sex relationships are vital to the social cohesiveness in the natural world. Perhaps I am preaching to the choir, but I can’t help but feel annoyed simply because of ignorance. Also, for the record, studies suggest gay parenting do just as well, if not better.

    “The coordinator of the LGBTQ Parenting Network and editor of Who’s Your Daddy?, an anthology on queer parenting, says, “Some of the research has shown that children of (same-sex parents) are generally more open to social diversity and that they tend to have slightly higher self-esteem than other kids.” According to a Justice Department study authored by Professor Paul Hastings at Concordia University, parenting by same-sex families is just as good – if not slightly advantageous – for children when compared with heterosexual families.”

    On a cautious note.
    There are recent reports of an increase of HIV infection because of risky sexual behavior. As recent as 2010 December young Australians are being diagnosed with HIV. From ama.com.au “Compared with older men who have sex with men (MSM), those aged under 35 years are more likely to have never previously been tested for HIV, more likely to report not knowing the HIV status of regular partners, and more likely to report inconsistent condom use with casual and regular partners, according to a study published in the Medical Journal of Australia.”

    Reuters: “Several studies — in San Francisco, Sydney and the Netherlands, for example — have found that gay and bisexual men reported increasing rates of unprotected sex from the mid-1990s on. This latest findings, reported in the journal AIDS, included 1,642 gay and bisexual men in Amsterdam who were followed for up to 25 years”

    This is just adding fuel to the idea that gay men are promiscuous and reckless. I am in my early twenties and I am still single and a virgin.

    It is important to help young people that gay people make a positive contribution to society: Alan Turing. Tchaikovsky. Oscar Wilde. Michel Foucault. And many more…

  5. I think at this point we all know that they have no real argument to why people of letter shouldn’t be allowed to get married. Literally its the same thing as when they were fighting to make interracial marriage legal. People are just bigots. That is why I find it to be a waste of breath to argue with someone on this issue. We are correct in our standings and they will learn that someday…hopefully!

  6. Jim at Outsports says:

    I think it was Bill Maher who said that gays should be allowed to marry so they “can be as miserable as the rest of us.” 🙂

  7. Jas Friedman says:

    Quote: “A huge number of gay and bisexuals were detected with HIV in New Zealand previous year. The AIDS Epidemiology Group at the University of Otago has discovered that 90 fresh contamination of the virus which can lead to AIDS in gay and bisexual men in the year 2010.”

    My opinion: Ignorance about human sexuality is what causes this. The lack of tolerance and the failure to educate people about safer sex is what probably drives people to isolation and fear, especially gay people. What kind of message is this sending out to the public? Gay men are also partly to blame because they are being reckless. What more ammunition do you need to argue against gay marriage?

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