The lead

Last night I told another one of my good guy friends that I am gay. And I was very nervous as I anxiously awaited his response.

One thing I have noticed during my coming out process is that with each new person that I tell the future looks brighter and brighter. After I come out to a person, a feeling of nerves flushes through my body in agony. Will the person accept me? Will he or she still be my friend? What will come now? But after these nerves have passed, have a feeling of happiness. I have been lucky to have each person that knows about my sexuality fully accept me. The feeling of happiness comes after I notice that the person does not care at all whom I find attractive. Even with my guy friends none of them have cared. Back to last night and telling my friend. We just became friends this year, but we are already close. I came out over a text message, which means I had to wait those dreaded few minutes. The wave of nerves passed over my body, but luckily I was able to distract myself by reading about the Industrial Revolution for AP World History. Time slowed down right after I press send. I felt like he was taking forever to respond, but then the message came. I picked up my phone and just stared at the dark screen debating if I should open up the text message or not. My curiosity won, I opened up the message, “Thank you for telling me, but i kinda thought you were anyway.” This made me laugh a little and then he told me about how he grew up with his mom having lesbian friends.

Him knowing and not caring really puts a smile on my face. He is just another one of my countless friends who see past my sexuality. The future is definitely looking bright for me. Soon I will be out to my entire school, and then I will be free to express who I truly am.

But I am wondering who keeps me from being who I truly am. Does society make me feel like I have to be act “normal” or do I put these constraints on myself because I am afraid of how people will treat me? I think it may be a mixture of both, because on the news for the most part the only thing we see regarding LGBT teens are about the ones who sadly commit suicide. We do not hear about the success stories. I also feel like I am afraid to be me because I have never truly been “me” before in public. I am starting to realize, though, through writing this blog and reading all of the emails and comments that we receive is to never put constraints on your ability to accomplish things as well as how people will perceive you.

You never know people’s true stories. The very religious person whom you may perceive as someone against gay rights may have a lesbian mom. Learn from the lessons that I have been taught through this process and know that with every step of coming out, your life just looks that much brighter, even if it may not seem that way at first.

Brad

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About Brad,Robert,Ben

We are three kids from three different time zones, with one common goal. This is our voice:
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7 Responses to The lead

  1. Vince says:

    I came out much later in life than you guys… whether I was lucky or whatever you call it… No one, that I came out to, shunned me or treated me differently than before. That fear factor perception is far worse than actual. If they did feel differently, they did it without my knowledge. Best of luck to all of you; I have really enjoyed reading your blog.

  2. william says:

    I heard this sometime ago when i first came out to my friends and co workers and it is very true. True friends wont mind if you are gay and the ones who do mind were never
    REAL friends to begin with. Who we choose to sleep with doesn’t define who we are.

  3. Gianni Cecchini says:

    I have only one question. What is keeping you from being completely open at school? At this point as long as your close friends know and are okay with it, what is stopping you? I stopped telling people because I felt I didn’t have to have the heart to heart moment with everyone.

    • i am very involved in my student government, and i have really been afraid that once i come out people will not elect me as executive VP for next year as a junior. I am also kind of hoping though that it may help me because many people judge me right away at my school as being stuck-up and intimidating but really i am just friends with older people because i know they will accept me for who i am, they are mature enough to see past it.

  4. william says:

    You really have to follow your own heart in deciding who to tell and when but from my experience the ones who I felt were the most homophobic have been my strongest supporters. You just need to be true to yourself first and it would be nice if everyone accepts you but it really doesn’t matter to me anymore if some friends desert me and there has been a few. I am happy with me and that’s all that’s important. Take this at your own pace. Btw, I love your blog!

  5. Giulio Scardazza says:

    It is right what you say, among my friends in my class there are people of every kind, from comunists to fascists, from jocks to metalhead, from womanizers to geeky math nerds like me, and they have all very different opinions. But when progressively I came out to them they revealed to be real friends and they accepted me without any problem. Moreover, if before I used to hear the word “fag” a lot (used like an insult among guys) in my class now I don’t hear it anymore! Now I am so confortable that if anyone at school ask me something I’m not afraid to tell the truth, I know I have my friends with me. I think that our generation is a lot better than how is portrayed, I’m optimistic, we’ll live in a nice world regarding LGBT issues! 🙂

  6. THANK YOU GUYS!! Your courage and strength in coming out and sharing your stories is inspirational to older gay guys like me who love sports (and have always been razzed by gay friends for that), AND to younger LGBTQ athletes who may be struggling with their own identity, feeling like they are isolated or alone. We are not alone. The legacy stereotype that sexual orientation has anything to do with athletic ability or interest in sports is being lessened each and every day by your courage, your accomplishments and your hard work on the track and the pitch. KEEP IT UP!! 🙂

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