My Letter

Dear Mom and Dad,

My life has drastically changed since the new decade has started. Now that it is the end of the year I feel that it is time to fill you on with what has happened. On January 3, 2010 I told Ian I was gay. In June I told Maddie I was gay. At ASB camp I told my group I was gay. In early December I told jessi I was gay. Last week I told Jamie that I was gay. Now it is time to tell you guys I am gay.

I am not one of those stereotypical gays that you see on television that wear sparkles and make-up. I am me, Brad Usselman. I will still be exactly the same because I don’t think that being gay should change anything about you besides who you want to spend the rest of your life with. I will always do sports and I am excited for the track season this year as well as being captain for cross country next year. I will never let being gay stop me from doing what I want to do. I still want to run cross country and track at a Division 1 college even though openly gay people are very rare to find in that competitive of a league.

I don’t know how the rest of the world will take this news, but I am rather sure most of my friends already know thanks to people telling each other. Instead of seeing this spread of gossip as a bad thing I see it as reassurance  in letting me know that my friends are my friends and they will never abandon me for some stupid reason such as this. My sports teams may take a little longer to come along but as some people have said locker rooms may be homophobic but if you are a key person in winning then they will accept you, and yes I would say I am a key person in winning meets.

You ask why now? Well I am just done hiding who I truly am because of fear. Who will change people’s perceptions of gay people in sports for the younger generations if no one comes out and proves people wrong. I am ready to be me.

I love you guys and I know this would never affect anything between us. If anything I know it will strengthen our bond that we all share together. I don’t want you guys to worry about me in this process because I am a strong person and having amazing people all around me who will be by my side. I wrote this note to you instead of just telling you because I thought it would be awkward to bring up. So instead I did this and I am now waiting for your phone call at Maddie’s house



About Brad,Robert,Ben

We are three kids from three different time zones, with one common goal. This is our voice:
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9 Responses to My Letter

  1. Faye says:

    You are a brave and inspiring person, and I am glad you are on the road to loving yourself. Hang in there – the world needs people who are courageous and willing to be themselves regardless of what others think.

  2. Madeleine says:

    Brad, this is just beautiful. You are a very brave and articulate young man and I hope your parents embrace you with open arms.

  3. Daen says:

    And this is you too?!? I saw elsewhere this early in the week and fired it off to several of my very closeted friends who were dying through the holiday break. There are a lot of ways to come out, but the best way is at a time and place of your choosing!


  4. thank you so much for showing your friends!


  5. Zack says:

    Hello to all three of you,

    One line from your letter I just wanted to give you some advice on. There are more gay athletes in the Division I level than you would think. I just finished up my collegiate throwing career at Brown University and had the chance to meet a number of gay athletes. The sports ranged from lacrosse to water polo. They came from all over the country including conservative areas such as Kansas where I come from.

    The bond between teammates is a strong one as I’m sure you know. I had one teammate who had a problem and I just made it my goal to work harder than he did and show him that I’m no different than him.

    Anyways, keep it up guys and good luck in your respective sports!


  6. steve Kay says:

    steve Kay in MD = a couple comments i posted on the site where I learned about this site……………

    on Jan 9th, 2011 at 3:37 AM

    MY congratulations to these youth. the closet is just like the ghetto in which hitler threw the Jews.

    they then became not people, but “them:”. And it was so easy to demonize them while they couldnt fight back.

    Nothing is more important then being out. Because its hard to hate someone you know and respect. People get innoculated against the religioius hatred that poisons our society when they know and respect people and then discover those people are gay.

    And out of “being out” will come everything else needed to make gay people accepted in society.

    Including a well deserved trip to the unemployment line for the pastors of hatred in Gods name.

    • steve Kay says:

      My other comment on may be somewhat repetitious……

      steve Kay
      on Jan 9th, 2011 at 3:49 AM

      I dont have any other words that haven’t been already used to express admiration for what you said and did.

      the world has changed. On the dark side of life, I remember being in Portland OR in 1983 on business. When a 21 year old boy named Bobby jumped off a bridge into the path of traffic, because his homophobic mother, and horrible sick christian pastor demanded he change, and utlimately drove him to that suicide. Although of course I was horrified at the time but never understood what the cause of his religious murder induced suicide really was.

      A suicide chronicalled by I think it was 60 minutes on TV perhaps 5 years ago. JUst released on DVD , called Prayers for Bobby.

      Prob avail on Amazon if your interested.

      And over the years his mother came to understand what happened and has been a PFLAG leader in CA

      I think you understand what I say to most gay people I have met in my work as a str8 volunteer for the gay community .

      Dont ever ever ever let the relgiious wack jobs cause you to lose your self respect. If you can internalize that, life should work out just fine for you.

      And try to connect with any local PFLAG groups you may be near. they have a sub group called RAinbow youth alliance for people your age. Your story will be an inspiration to them.

  7. Simon says:

    Congratulations on being so brave and so inspirational! Your new blog and inspirational message is gaining fans all around the world, even here in England 🙂
    I’m really impressed. Well done!

  8. cjdrummon says:

    You will never truly understand how much this affected me. Thanks for everything and all of the support you have given me. Keep up the courage, it keeps me up 🙂

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